‘Richard Dawkins is
right. Religion is a delusion people are under and they will never awaken from
it. It’s quite sad that people are so stupid and…’
The only deluded one
here is you, douchebag. Do you need Richard Dawkins to tell you everything or
do you have no opinions of your own?
‘Look at this comic I
drew when they were screening that boring movie last hour. It’s the whole Santa
Clause syndrome. It’s funny, huh?’
The only funny thing
here is the size and fragility of your ego.
‘Honestly, I wish I
could find a girl with beauty and brains. Everyone is so dumb.’
Says the guy who finds
‘To Kill A Mockingbird’ boring. Oh, and didn’t you flunk a subject and barely
pass the rest last semester? Yeah, you only get what you give, moron.
‘I tell you. I’m
smarter than this class by at least 50 IQ points. We should take a test to
separate the dumb ones from the stupid ones. At least then, discussions in
class would actually be interesting.’
Oh God.
‘That does it. I’m going to
domesticate a crow, train it to pull that asshole’s eyes out and then drop it in
that big load of horseshit he’s spouting. Maybe then, he can actually see how stupid
he is!’
‘Yeah, what’d be the point? He’d
probably go on about how his horseshit is better than everyone else’s’
‘Can we stop talking about
horseshit? And Madhu, self-control please. Our class is full of morons. We must
deal with it.’
‘I know that but he annoys me so
much. I have never met anyone with narcissism reeking out of them as much as
him. I know it sounds mean, but he deserved to get cheated on.’
College experiences
are really what they are because of your friends. It’s 99% awesome company and
the 1% whatever. In the first semester of our first year, we all had different
companions. Everyone except me anyway. I always try to make friends, but it
never works. If I could liken myself to any animal, it’d be a penguin. I dunno
why. Penguins have always seemed like awkward creatures to me. But whatever, I
managed to make a group of amazing friends who really defined camaraderie for
me. Yeah, my class sucked, but even if I was in another class with amazing,
talented people, I’d still rather be with the friends I have.
‘Aiyoo, we have Macwin
Sir next no?’
‘Here comes Genevieve!
My ray of light in a cloudy day!’
When she saw us, she
started jogging briskly, and her lovely brown hair was blown back due to the
wind. She had a huge smile on her face, and that could mean only one thing:
progress.
‘Hi, you guys! I
talked to her today.’
‘Ujhoo.’
‘What about, what
about! What are you doing just standing there? Sit!’
‘But what if she walks
by? I don’t want to miss her.’
‘Uh, you talked to her
today. What happened to ‘not losing yourself in the feelings’?’
‘But I love her so.’
She pouted adorably. Genevieve was the cutest thing in the world. She was such
a hardcore romantic; she could make anyone fall in love with her.
‘Sit down.’
‘Batman is the
greatest superman ever! Ben Affleck. Imagine choosing Ben Affleck of all
people!’
Shut up. Seriously,
I’ll kill you.
‘I see Bhargav is here
again. Your class is seriously full of weirdos.’
‘If he doesn’t shut
up, I’ll seriously kill him.’
‘I’ll help you bury
him, Madhu. But yeah, Genny. Totally,’ Manavi said, engrossed in her phone.
‘Temple Run again?’
‘Huh, no.’
‘Unless it’s that guy
from the NGO. Oye, Manavi. He has a fiancée. He is taken. With a capital T.
Like the movie Taken with that famous dialogue. Like the phone I’m taking away
from you…’
‘Hello!’
‘He has a girlfriend,
darling. You were supposed to end this a week ago.’
‘We have a dirty
mistress in our midst,’ a masculine voice called out.
‘Aah! Fucking hell,
you scared me, Kushal.’
‘Sorry, Jayati. Just
talking to Aisha Ma’am and then I saw you guys. I see you’re still playing
dirty mistress, Manavi.’
‘You’re one to talk.
The only ones you fall for are the teachers. I don’t even…’
‘Oh My God! She’s
here! My lover is here! Excuse me while I go squander my youthful days in
hedonism.’
‘Hedonism, it seems!
All the best, Genny!’
‘Ahh, how nice it is
to be young.’
Where are my princes
and princesses? I’m fucking 19 already.
‘I know right? I’m
going to end up alone, I just know it,’ Jayati sighed with me.
‘Same here,’ Manavi
said.
‘What is this, a pity
party? Something will happen. I know it,’ Kushal said.
‘Ugh, just what am I
doing with my life?’
At least everyone has
had someone before. I’ve had no one. In all my life, I’ve never known the
pleasure of having someone who understands me physically and emotionally. Am I
frigid?
‘Madhurima!’
We all turn
instinctively.
‘You came for my
play.’
Why am I attracted to you? It is against my
senses, my honour as a woman and my pride to be attracted to you. And yet, all
I want right now is for you to take my hand and kiss it like you did in the
second semester of last year. I hate you so much for what you’re doing to me.
‘Yeah, I did. I told
you also.’
I was jealous of the girl who played your girlfriend. You lifted her up at one point. If it was me, I’d blush so hard, I’d actually fucking erupt like Mt Fuji or something.
I was jealous of the girl who played your girlfriend. You lifted her up at one point. If it was me, I’d blush so hard, I’d actually fucking erupt like Mt Fuji or something.
‘Did you like it?’
You were amazing.
You were amazing.
‘You were good. I told
you that too.’
I’m smiling, great.
This whole cold approach isn’t going well. Geebus, a girl’s feelings are found
out so easily in this damn college.
‘Yeah, but it’s the
first time you ever complimented me. I had to hear it in person. I get a hug
right?’
Do it. Hug him.
‘Uh, I’ll pass.’
‘A handshake?’
‘I have to stand up,
and I don’t wanna!’
Whaddaya know? That’s actually true!
Ha, you lost, Pranav. I’m not that attracted to you also.
‘A kiss is out of question then,
huh?’
‘Please, Pranav. With the amount of
action you’re getting, you don’t need anything. Hickeys and all you have on
your neck!’
You’re disgusting and vile but the only male I can even talk to in class. Because of that, I am attracted to you even though I don’t want to be.
‘Ooh, do you guys like each other? You do, don’t you?’ Bhargav’s gang was getting up and going to leave. Of course, he had to butt in and make things awkward. His narcissism prevented him from seeing that he was making things difficult for someone else. I don’t think anyone had ever informed him of these flaws.
You’re disgusting and vile but the only male I can even talk to in class. Because of that, I am attracted to you even though I don’t want to be.
‘Ooh, do you guys like each other? You do, don’t you?’ Bhargav’s gang was getting up and going to leave. Of course, he had to butt in and make things awkward. His narcissism prevented him from seeing that he was making things difficult for someone else. I don’t think anyone had ever informed him of these flaws.
Oh lord. Shut up. Shut
up. Not even a 5th standard kid would be this immature.
‘Bhargav, what do you
want?’ Jayati thankfully helped me out. I could have kissed her then.
‘Do you guys like each
other or not? Tell me?’
GO FUCK YOURSELF.
‘Oh, get lost! This
has nothing to do with you. No one was talking to you.’
Oh, he’s pissed. Did I
hurt his teeny-tiny ego?
‘It was a simple
enough question.’
‘Yeah,’ Pranav said
with a mock-serious look on his face. ‘You’re too mean, Madhurima!’ I wanted to
murder him so much right there. All my affection vanished, like it always did
when he inevitably behaved like a jerk, which was most of the time. That was
also the reason why I did not want to like him.
‘Say, let’s go get something to eat. I’m
hungry,’ Manavi interrupted, obviously sensing the tension.
Tell them! Tell them
both off! Tell Bhargav that for an atheist he has a pretty big God-complex.
Tell him his ego is as fragile and weak as the thing between his legs. Tell him
he has no opinions of his own. Tell him he thinks he’s king of the world here,
but he’s actually hated and mocked for a reason.
Tell Pranav
that he’s a jerk. Tell him the truth about his acting, that it was too
one-dimensional.
But I can’t.
I’m a loser.
Who just can’t stand
up for herself.
‘I’m hungry. Manavi, Jayati, Kushal.
Let’s go get a samosa fast.’
Why do I do this?
‘See you later!’
Why do I do this?
‘See you later!’
All I’m doing is
glaring at them. You did it, Madhu. You’re as intimidating as the grumpy cat
now.
‘They’re such
assholes!’
‘Why? Why are men like
that?’
‘Such ego issues.’
‘We need to hurry,
guys. Macwin’s class now!’
‘Shit, yeah! Grab the
samosa and stuff it in the bag. We’ll eat in class.’
‘Have fun in class,
guys. I’m free now.’
‘Damn you, Kushal.’
‘You suck.’
‘Hahaha! Bye Miss
Dirty Mistress and uh, co!’
‘Co, it seems. We lead
the stupidest lives ever.’
’I’m so broke!’
‘Poverty is a state of
mind, remember!’
‘So is a samosa in
that case.’
‘Yeah, it’s a state of
mind. If you believe hard enough, money will fucking come out of thin air.’
‘A machete should
appear so I can kill all the stupid people.’
‘And the annoying
people.’
I’d probably be in
that list though.
We bought the Samosas and headed to class. Another day passed. Another season is slowly ending. But we’ll try like we always have. That’s a universal truth, not just a state of mind.
We bought the Samosas and headed to class. Another day passed. Another season is slowly ending. But we’ll try like we always have. That’s a universal truth, not just a state of mind.
We’ll scramble and fall and remain there. And I’ll be
laughing all the way to wherever I end
up.
*
Ankitha Venkataram is an eighteen-year-old student of
Journalism, Literature and Psychology at Christ University. She is passionate about
literature, anime and manga and Korean dramas among other things. She is a member of the
Bangalore Writer's Workshop.
Read the After Ankitha, the twitter version of A State of Scramble.
Read the After Ankitha, the twitter version of A State of Scramble.
The last paragraph is a punch! Such precise words, but such cynicism for one so young aka the protagonist.
ReplyDeleteIndeed!
DeleteWatch the story evolve over the next few days!