The Old
Woman Who Could Fly
Deepak
Unnikrishnan
'Big-Shot' Bhaskar knew
what he was doing when he built the first nursing home in Trichur. He called it
'Gulf Party Peoples'. This was the early eighties. Families, especially
matriarchs, would walk by the place in order to giggle at the lone sentry in
uniform, some foreign fellow from somewhere whose job it was to stand at
attention outside the building site. Bhaskar wasn't in a hurry to do more
hiring. In a few years, he said. Fool's gone mad, everyone said. But I went to
school with Bhaskar. The boy's brain was a crystal ball loaned to him by the
devil himself. Early on, he'd calculated that geriatrics needing care would
constitute the biggest market in Gulf-addicted NRI-obsessed Kerala. He was
right. When I put my own mother in there, she'd been the last one holding out.
Everyone else over the age of sixty had been cajoled, coerced, and convinced
into locking up or subletting or selling their homes and moving into Big-Shot's
Gulf Party Peoples. When family came to visit, these men and women representing
various positions of familial authority were escorted by sons and daughters to
locked homes which were unlocked for the duration of their visit, before being
returned to the nursing home weeks (or days) later. Frankly, if you had someone
in there, like I did, it was an excellent arrangement.
Gradually, the phones – and
Bhaskar had installed at least thirty – stopped ringing. Visits from family
ceased. Soon, the place had its first suicide. Leelama Jose was a popular and
long-term resident who was convinced her Manama-based daughter, Bahrain Beena,
had sold off the family plot and house built by Leelama's late husband
Constable Chacko. Leelama took her own life by swallowing Christmas lights
still attached to a ten-foot plastic tree, an annual gift from the
Sharjah-based Car-Parts Charlie whose incontinent father always received an
extra piece of fruitcake for the gesture. The morning Leelama's body was discovered,
Kumaran, an orderly, asked for her home address, then walked there in order to
pluck flowers from her garden, famous, Leelama used to boast, for the sheer
variety of flora. If she died away from home, she'd shared with kindly Kumaran,
away from family, she wanted to be buried wearing flowers from her garden. When
Kumaran reached the place where Leelama's house was supposed to be, he didn't
find it. What used to exist had been levelled to the ground, with posters in
place advertising and baiting the public to stay tuned for something
magnificent.
If Leelama's death was a
shock, Ravi Menon's death was a blow to the morale. Menon's son, ADNOC Anil had
surprised him early in the year with the news that he was working on procuring
a residence visa for the old man so that they could all live together with
Anil's family in Abu Dhabi. Expecting house upkeep to be expensive, Anil
convinced his father to sell the property. He said he'd use
the money from the sale towards sensible Gulf investments guaranteeing robust
returns. Long story short, Menon never made it to the Gulf. Anil's business
venture went bust. When Menon was told the truth over the phone, he borrowed a
shovel from the gardener and began digging near the nursing home entrance, by
the gates. The staff, thinking he was letting off steam, let him be. But Menon
continued to dig throughout the night. By dawn, he had dug a tunnel from the
nursing home all the way to the house he had sold. As Menon burst through the
floor in the room he had shared with his late wife, he interrupted a man in the
middle of making wild love to his fulsome wife, a Frenchman who'd bought the
place on the urging of his new bride. Forgive me, said Menon, but how much to
buy all this back from you? His last words, before he died.
My mother was responsible
for everything that happened next. She'd never been a woman interested in
handouts or pity. Instead, she wanted revenge. This was the year reality tv had
begun to take off. Producers were itching for new angles. My mother contacted a
leading channel and pitched her idea, promising an exclusive.
She told them she lived in
a small town in Kerala devoid of its young, that every able man and woman was employed
in the Gulf. The only inhabitants left behind were corralled into a massive
nursing home built by one of their own. It was a world, she said, where diet,
medication, even companionship was regimented. People like her were losing
their minds. I know my mother, it must have been a masterful performance. If
you knew my mother, you'd say the same. The tv channel was
interested, but they wanted to spice things up a bit. They'd show up, the
producer confirmed, but they needed an angle, something the world didn't know.
And that's when my mother produced her full deck of cards. Have a show, she
said, where nursing home residents compete for the most interesting ways to lure
their kids back to see them. The producer wasn't convinced. There is an old man
who lives here, my mother said, who refuses to go to sleep, but walks up and
down five flights of stairs every day, set in the belief that when his son, a
doctor in Kuwait, finds out, he'll drop everything in order to ask him to stop.
My mother then waited a beat. Today, she said, is his tenth year of doing this.
Within a week, a production crew surrounded the nursing home.
The show was controversial,
and lasted only one season, but it was a memorable one. After the elimination
rounds, four finalists were chosen among the nursing home residents to fight
for the grand prize. A phone call was made to a child living in the Gulf with
sweeteners like airline tickets and shopping vouchers to bait the guilty party
into taking the call. It was an ambush, of course. While congratulations were
being offered, cries of surprise (No way! No way! I won! I won?), the producers
would quietly put the winners' aged parents on the phone. That
was the plan anyway.
Viewers of that pilot
episode saw, Sudha Chandrasekhar, the arthritic woman who made replicas of her
children out of Glucose biscuits she pulped into a paste with hot tea. And Ramu
'Maash,' who had taught himself Arabic in the hopes of being invited to join
his daughter who was a schoolteacher in Ajman. But there were clearly two front
runners for the prize.
One was a man by the name
of 'Shirt-Piece' Babu. Shirt-Piece worked as a tailor in Bombay for many years.
When he retired, he moved back with his wife, who succumbed to a heart murmur
one balmy day. Shirt-Piece's son Murali, residing in Doha, was the one who
dropped him off at the nursing home. It was the last time Shirt-Piece saw him.
First, Shirt-Piece wouldn't talk to anyone. He tried feeding the tame cats, but
the felines ignored him after feeding time. Then he began making overtures to
the spiders in his room. There were three. He stitched them little shirts with
eight openings, he gave them names. Oman. Falooda. Genghis. Then one day, a
staff member found him scaling the walls, refusing to come down until his son
Murali came back for him. Then he requested fresh flies and crickets for
dinner.
The second front runner was
my mother. When asked what consequences she faced after being abandoned by her
son, she looked up and smiled. Don't feel sorry for me, she said, my son's an
idiot, as is my hog-faced daughter-in-law. But you do want to see him? she was
asked. I suppose, she said, I suppose I want to tell him that I shouldn't have
trusted him. And this has impacted your mental state, yes? My mother never
liked anyone questioning her independence, never mind her mental state. My
father always used to tell her she was nuts. She wouldn't say much, except add
salt to his tea. But my mother understood where the question was coming from.
My roommate, she said, is a woman who refused fifty prospective brides before
she married her Sharjah-based son to the highest bidder, a woman responsible
for putting her here. Me on the other hand, my mother added, I came here
voluntarily, on the pretext that I didn't want to burden anyone, especially my
child. Yet, she said, yet. Yet? The other day, my mother said, I was in the
shower, when I noticed boils on either side of the middle of my spine. Fearing
the worst, I sat down and rubbed the bumps, and something happened. What? My
mother then calmly undid her sari and blouse, put her arms behind her back and
rubbed the middle of her spine. Then she turned around. Tiny gossamer wings had
emerged, and had begun to beat, lifting my mother and making her hover inches above
her seat. She laughed as she turned around to face the interviewer. I don't go
much higher than this, she said, and I only have the strength for a minute's
worth of levitation. And this is the message for your son, the state you're in?
Oh no, she said, this is the message for my son. And my mother
began to urinate in front of the live studio audience.
I know this because I was
there. At the last minute, the producers had decided to fly the children of the
three finalists out to their parents, on the pretext that we had won a lot of
money playing a random lottery none of us really remembered. At the airport, we
were blindfolded and asked to wear earplugs. At the nursing home, as finalists
prepared to share their testimonials with the studio audience, the mess hall
serving as the makeshift auditorium, we were placed in wheelchairs, our legs
and arms bound, and wheeled to the back of the set. By now, our blindfold and
earplugs had been removed. So when my mother began sharing her story, about her
life, how she raised me, where I left her, I could hear everything she said.
And as my mother pissed in response to the lady's prompt, I was wheeled by my
helper onto the makeshift stage, and placed directly opposite her naked
body, just as her wings stopped beating, and a puddle began to form near my
legs. My mother was smiling. This, wouldn't you agree, should have been enough,
but there was more to come.
The interviewer quickly
introduced me. I was met by vociferous boos. Before I could say anything, the
interviewer offered me one of two options. If I repented, the lady said, took
my mother back, I'd win twenty lakhs in prize money, good money those days, on
the condition that it would be paid to me over the course of ten years. If I
didn't regret anything I'd done, the lady continued, or even felt that I hadn't
done anything wrong, I 'd get a lump sum of ten lakhs, paid in cash, with the
promise that I wouldn't try to contact my mother ever again.
I demurred, of course,
embarrassed that getting rich involved such scrutiny. If it had been a phone
call instead of live tv, I would've taken the ten, but such circumstances
called for diplomacy. My mother on the other hand had other ideas. Fully
dressed again, she interrupted. What if, she told the interviewer, those options
were in my hands, instead of his? And what if, she said, unlike my son, I've
already decided.
As she said this, the
audience members began to hoot and cheer. My mother, that witch, disrobed once
more, her tiny wings beating robustly, lifting her a few feet in the air. It
was good of you to come, my boy, she said. She looked at me and laughed. Then
she flew towards the members of the studio audience who by now were giving her
a standing ovation, many waiting to shake my mother's hand.
Deepak Unnikrishnan is a writer from Abu
Dhabi. His fiction and non-fiction has appeared in Drunken Boat, Himal
Southasian, Bound Off, The State Vol IV: Dubai, the art project Autopoiesis (www.autopoiesis.io), and in the
anthology Breaking the Bow:
Speculative Fiction Inspired by the Ramayana, Zubaan Books. While on
scholarship at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, he completed the
manuscript for his first work of fiction set in the Gulf, excerpts from which
are forthcoming in Guernica.
This story is sprinkled with delightful madness and a touch of anarchy and yet is serious and quite heart-breaking. Some of the characters had perfectly incredible and funny names. This was a very enjoyable read.
ReplyDeleteThis is really really good! Well done Deepak :)
ReplyDeleteGreat story Deepak...really enjoyed reading it!
ReplyDeleteNicely written...
ReplyDelete